I Hate the Gods So Much Right Now
by TeamValdangeloStarkidHerondale
Summary: Leo Valdez. Boy. B-O-Y. Boy. Apparently not. Piper McLean. Straight. S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T. Apparently not. Nico di Angelo. Scary. S-C-A-R-Y. Hahaha not if Leo has any say in it. ON HIATUS UNTIL I FINISH OTHER STORIES!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All rights go to Rick Riordan. I own nothing accept my characters and the plot-line. Enjoy!

Chapter One: What in Hades name had happened to me?!

A scream jolted Nico di Angelo out of sleep. He bolted up in bed, and was throwing off the covers when the scream came again. It was unmistakably feminine, but Nico didn't have a clue that the voice belonged to. Having heard all the girls on the Argo II (this ginormous war-ship) shriek at least once, Nico thought he would recognise the sound of their voice. Apparently not, however, as another scream pierced the air.

Nico rushed out the door of his quarters (It had originally been the stables, but the mechanic had converted it into a room) and nearly ran into Piper McLean. The girl's expression was grim as she automatically steadied him. So, it wasn't Piper. That left Hazel and Annabeth. Nico's stomach lurched at either of them being hurt- but no, the sound was not coming from either of their rooms.

It was coming from Leo Valdez's.

That was even worse. Who the Hades would be in Leo's room, and causing such a racket so early in the morning? Piper and Nico quickly rushed forward to see Percy Jackson standing in the doorway to the Son of Hephaestus's room, his sword Riptide drawn, a perplexed look on his face. Next to him, his girlfriend Annabeth Chase looked equally stunned. Nico took this as a good thing- at least their faces didn't reflect horror.

Nico wondered what was going on. Was Leo okay? Leo was his best friend and well, Nico wasn't sure, but he thought they were something more. They had been visiting each other during the night, ever since Leo had heard Nico having a nightmare. Sometimes they just talked, about the quest, about the others and about their lives. And sometimes they kissed, and held each other and did other things. One morning Leo had to dodge questions from the others about a large 'bruise' on his neck (he made excuses to get away. He wasn't that good at changing the topic). Yes, Nico thought they were definitely something more.

So he was worried. He didn't want anything to happen to Leo. Only Leo could make Nico push his way forward and squeeze in-between Percy and Annabeth (who he was usually uncomfortable around- long story) to peer into Leo's room. The sight before him was startling.

A girl stood in the middle of the room, hopping on the spot in sort of jittery dance while staring at herself in a full-length mirror. She was pretty, Nico supposed, short and petite, with chin-length curly brown hair, caramel-brown skin, bright brown eyes and full lips. She looked, in fact, like she could be Leo's sister.

She was wearing a bright orange Camp Half-Blood t-shirt that slightly big on her, and a pair of loud red satin boxer shorts.

Leo's boxer shorts. Nico had seen them on one occasion, when he had visited Leo on one of their first late-night ventures, and he remembered timidly telling Leo the colour suited him. It was also one of the first times he had made Leo blush.

The girl seemed to spot them all in the mirror and her terror seemed to escalate. She whirled around to face them all and began pushing them all out.

"Oh my Gods, get out!" She yelped. When her hand touched Nico's arm, he swore it should have left a burn mark from how hot it was. Percy seemed to be gathering his wits.

"Who the Hades are you?" He asked, raising his sword. The girl gave a tiny moan at the sight of the sword pointed at her and scrambled back so fast she stumbled. Nico automatically reached out and grabbed her before she could fall (not something he would usually do, but this girl reminded him so much of Leo he couldn't help it). She seemed to relax at his touch, but the heat radiating from her skin was nearly unbearable. He slowly let go, and the girl's bottom lip wobbled like she was trying not to cry.

"Why did this have to happen to me?!" She wailed, throwing everyone off-guard with the change in topic. "Where do the gods get off doing- doing this to me?" It seemed to Nico that the girl was being very dramatic by gesturing to herself with wild hand movements. The girl was clearly hysterical and wasn't making much sense. Piper decided it was time for her to intervene.

"Hey, it's okay" She said soothingly, with just a hint of charmspeak. The girl didn't look convinced.

"Piper, look at me! I'm a girl!" Everyone was even more wary when the girl said Piper's name. She shouldn't know Piper's name. In fact, she shouldn't even be on the ship! Where was Leo? Nico was seriously starting to freak out. Realisation dawned on Annabeth's face and she scrutinised the girl. Hesitantly, she reached out and touched a finger to the girl's arm. Nico was sure she was checking the girl's temperature.

"…Leo?" She asked cautiously. The girl brightened slightly and threw her arms around Annabeth, making the other girl stumble. Percy made a sound of protest.

"Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" The girl cried. "I knew you were smart, Annabeth!"

It was impossible. Utterly impossible that this girl could be Leo Valdez. For one, Leo was a guy, and for two, you couldn't just change genders like this and three… well, Nico didn't have a third reason. He just knew this person couldn't be Leo. It just wasn't possible!


	2. Chapter 2

"…And then I took a look under my shirt and found that I have boobs!" Leo- argh, Nico couldn't believe this was really his sort-of boyfriend- jabbered. Piper looked aghast, amused and a bit disgusted all at once as Leo rambled on to her. "Can you believe this? Why would anyone ever want to turn me into a girl?"

"I don't know… you make a pretty cute girl" Piper grinned down at her yogurt, stirring a spoon around the berry flavour. Jason didn't pick up on the slight blush that dusted her cheeks, but both Nico and Annabeth did, and the former raised an eyebrow while Annabeth looked puzzled. Hmm, he would have to ask about that later, though it would be more out of curiosity then anything. He might have to mention it to Leo and get him to ask, actually. Piper wasn't all that comfortable around Nico, even though Leo insisted to everyone he was actually very adorable. The scoundrel. Nico thought he might forget though. He wasn't that worried about it, he was more anxious with the fact that Leo was a girl.

Speaking of Leo, he (Nico decided to continue thinking 'he' when it came to Leo. It was just weird any other way) flashed a grin that was almost exactly like his old one. "Thanks Pipes, but I'm stunning no matter what gender I am, right Frank?" He unexpectedly spoke the end of his question to Frank, who seemed the least stunned about all of this. Nico guessed being able to turn into an animal made this less surreal for him. Still, Frank spluttered.

"I, um, er…"

"Relax man, I was just kidding around" Leo rolled his (her?) eyes, before fluttering his eyelashes at Percy. "Hey, Fish Face, how do I look?" He seemed to be getting over his own horror at being a girl and decided to use it to tease people. Percy gave him a mock-thoughtful look, playing along.

"I don't know… I think I prefer blondes" right as he said this, he pulled Annabeth towards him and gave her a kiss. Nico marvelled at how carefree Percy was, even after coming out of Tartarus only a few days ago. Maybe he was just so relieved to be out that he didn't want to dwell on the fact that he was in there. Nico knew after he went into Tartarus he was even worse around people than before-hand. He closed off, becoming more guarded and easy to irritate. The only person to really make him smile was Leo, and sometimes Jason because he wasn't bothered by the fact that Nico was gay.

Only two people on the ship knew about Nico's sexuality. Only one person on the Argo knew about Leo's sexuality. Nico didn't think anyone would guess that Leo was bisexual- he showed way to much interest in girls to be considered anything but straight. But Nico guessed Leo found him attractive enough to 'share' his feelings with the son of Hades.

Piper grinned, flicking Leo's ear lightly. Leo batted her hand away with a small giggle, which just added to the surrealism of the situation. Leo never _giggled. _He laughed, chuckled, chortled, snorted, cackled, snickered and occasionally whooped, but Nico had never heard him make such a feminine sound before. It was truly staggering.

The meeting they had held to discuss Leo's recent change in sex, or what he had dubbed 'Gender Bend' finally concluded. They all agreed that until they could work out whom and why Leo was changed into a girl, he should just go about his normal business. Other than the female parts on his body, Leo's build was basically the same, so he would have no problem with his usual work. Also, after a quick test, they had seen that Leo's fire ability still worked, so he didn't have to worry about that either.

Nico stood up and walked out of the dining room when the meeting ended, deciding to head straight to his room so that he could sleep. It was around six in the morning now, and everyone made a silent agreement that it would most likely be a sleepy day in the morning. Nico was just turning the corner for chamber corridor when warm fingers touched his elbow.

He paused and glanced behind him at Leo (he couldn't get used to Leo looking like this. It didn't matter that he had been staring at the boy- girl? - for three hours) who had a sheepish half-smile on his face. Hazel passed them silently- she knew they spent a lot of time in each other's rooms, but Nico knew she assumed they just hung out like guys did.

"Can you stay with me tonight?" Leo asked softly, glancing sideways in case somebody heard. Nico knew he wouldn't really mind if people heard- in fact, he had a discussion with Nico about how he thought about coming out to the others that he was bi- but he knew Nico was scared of what people would think of him, so he didn't speak to loud.

Nico hesitated, and then wondered why. He didn't usually hesitate. "Sure" He murmured, watching as Jason passed. The blond glanced between the two with a quick smile- Nico knew he had guessed what had transpired between the two- before continuing on, his arm around Piper. Nico couldn't help but notice that Piper didn't seem too pleased about this. She gave Leo a quick, warm grin, and Nico a friendly nod.

"You haven't spoken much" Leo said, leaning against the wall and looking up at the ceiling. "I thought you would've had a lot to say about… this" He gestured to himself. He was still in his pyjamas (the shirt and boxers) and had slipped his feet into a pair of his work boots. It was a strange sight.

"What did you expect me to say?" Nico asked, allowing Leo to grab his wrist and pull him along to the fire-users room. From the side of Leo's face that he could see, he was frowning.

"I don't know. That it's okay?" He gave Nico a swift smile. Nico couldn't get over how feminine he was now. "Nah, you wouldn't have said that. That's too _sweet _for the totally-not-cute Nico di Angelo"

"I'm _not _cute." Nico said, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout that contradicted his words. "I'm a ferocious son of Hades. I'm not allowed to be cute" Leo raised an eyebrow at him, as if to say 'dude, seriously? Take a look in the mirror! You're freakin' adorable!' Nico scowled.

"Valdez. I am not adorable. I am not cute. I _am _extremely menacing"

Leo snorted and shook his head, opening the door to his bedroom with a grin.


	3. AN

Er, um, hi there! Listen, this is going to sound really lame, but I kind of have to put this on hiatus. IT'S NOT THAT I WANT TOO! It's just that I feel a lot of pressure trying to write numerous fics at once. I have an Infernal Devices and Harry Potter story I've been writing for like, 9 months, and are no where near finishing, so I just wanted to finish them before I continue this. I am really, really, really, really sorry for this. Gods, I feel terrible, especially after so many people have favourited/followed/reviewed me and my story... *silently weeping because of this epic fail I have achieved* I'll try my best to update my other stories as quickly as possible, and maybe put up some Valdangelo one-shots or something, just so you know I still am going to continue this. I'm determined to continue this! - Yours in demigodishness TeamValdangeloStarkidHerondale 


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